Common Renovation Expressions That You Wish Weren't

Getting back into blogging gear here, I thought I'd post something else I wanted to share last year! Ha! Anyway, great thing about some fundamental renovation wisdoms, they're perennial! So, for your interim enjoyment--and forewarning...!

After a few weeks of renovation, and definitely after a few months, you might notice there are questions and comments you're saying a lot. Here's a sampling:

1. Who are you? (The person or persons showing up for the job are not the same ones you originally met--and thought you were hiring.)

2. The whole thing's wrong. (How is it possible, after months of planning, careful drawings, painstaking ordering and a million consultations and advisories, involving everyone and his brother, when whatever-it-is being done/delivered/installed appears, it does not match what it's supposed to be? I should add here another common comment, i.e., "Why do we have to do everything twice?")

3. When are you coming back? (Need I say more?)

4. Not again! (Ditto above commentary. By the way, this one is frequently followed by, "Never again!")

5. When will it be finished? (You get my drift.... Case in point. My wonderful neighbors across the street just had their roof done. When the roofers arrived and, as a side note, the crew parked the dumpster in front of our house--see # 6 below--they worked for two hours then left. Huh? Same thing for the rest of the week--except, when the owners got upset with them for parking the dumpster in from of our house, they moved it--to their driveway. Uh, yeah. What a concept. Anyway, then the roofers disappeared for a full week, during which time the weather was beautiful, of course, ideal for roofing. They finally came back yesterday (it was drizzling) and I think they finished. At least the front roof is done. Who knows what's happening, or not, in the back of the house? By the way, for a more prolonged example of this phenomenon, see my first post It Gets Worse Before It Gets Better. Also note that the above roofing story applies equally to # 3 above.)

6. On top of everything else.... (Because it won't be just one thing that doesn't go as planned. Believe me. It will be many! I even made up a song for this comment, due to its mind boggling frequency.... "on top of everything else... on top of everything else!!")

So, if (or should I say "when") this begins to happen, that you start asking these questions/uttering these statements, know that you have entered Home Improvement Hades. Is there a way out? Well, let's put it this way: There are not shortcut exits. You get out at the end of the ride.